I've Lost My Very Best Friend

This post will very long and probably several post. I really don't know where to start. My heart is so broken, I can't get over it I feel my life is actually over. I have cried everyday day For four months and I don't see any letting up. Never in a million years I would have thought I would not have Mike around but that did happen. He was my very best friend, we both loved each other so much. Sure we had disagreements but that was natural and it never was really bad. He wanted to go to the mountains in October of 2012, but that never came to pass. Mike got to not feeling well probably at the beginning of the summer of 2012 not realizing that he was really ill and we had no idea how bad he was. This post will be kinda mixed because just curtains things come to my mind not in any order. I just remember I got so upset because I had no idea what was going on with him and he told me, " do you think God would let anything happen to me after what all I went through in Atlanta", and I said no. I really thought he would be fine and be back home and go back to work. He loved his company and his job, he was an outside person. I see him every place I go in my home, outside and at church. Every Sunday I have the worst time getting to church. Most every Sunday we went together, he would sing on the praise team and then come sit by me. Now, when I get to church there is a blank place and a empty seat and sometimes I cannot bear it.